Props to the Single Parents

A couple of weeks ago my husband had to go out of town for a work conference. It wasn’t weeks, barely even days, but it felt much longer. He was gone for only two nights. I think one night is the longest either of had been away before then, since welcoming our son almost a year and a half ago. It may have only been two nights, but it was long enough to remind me that I probably wouldn’t do well as a single parent. (And yes, I’m talking about moms and dads here!)

I’m not even thinking so much about the big things. If there is anything I’ve learned over the past couple of years, it’s that when push comes to shove, you figure it out. It’s the little things like having an extra set of hands available because yours are full. How many times have I been walking out the door and yelled back at my husband to grab something I forgot? Often…that’s how many.

 

Granted, our kid has way more doctor’s appointments than your ‘typical’ one year old, but I can’t imagine having to fit all of them into only my schedule. It’s hard enough to keep track of them, but thank goodness my husband and I split a lot of them up! Truth be told, he takes ‘M’ to more appointments than I do these days. His schedule allows him to leave early just about any time, so that is a huge help! And sometimes, we like to go to the more important appointments together. We often leave with information overload so it’s great to have two people trying to remember stuff instead of just one. I can’t imagine having to remember all of ‘M’s new PT exercises by myself!

What it all boils down to is that we depend on each other. When one of us has a bad day, the other picks up the slack. A single parent can’t just step out or go for a walk and leave their youngster(s) home alone. During nighttime wake-ups, I change M’s diaper and hubby gets a bottle. At bedtime, one of us gets ‘M’ ready and in pajamas, and the other gets the bottle ready. I usually drop off at daycare in the morning, and hubby typically picks him up in the afternoon. There is a lot of give and take and endless teamwork.

Thinking about all of this over the two days hubby was gone gave me extra feelings of respect toward single parents everywhere. Being a parent is tough enough without having to do it all on your own. Granted, many parents have many family and friends that help out, but not always. And even if they do, it isn’t the same as sharing responsibilities around the clock.

I was pretty excited when my husband arrived back home – so was ‘M’. It reminded me of how much he really does for our family – even the small things. While it is great to spend a little time, just ‘M’ and I, it was nice to be back to ‘normal.’ I don’t know if I could do it without him, and I really don’t want to find out.

Next time you feel like criticizing that single mom or dad for letting their kid stay up late, getting that extra toy at the store, having pizza for the third time this week (pick your battles, right?), or whatever, think about it first. Put yourself in their shoes. We all have our struggles – none of us are perfect. Instead of judging, offer to lend a hand. Pick up their kid from school, have them over for a play date so their parent can go grocery shopping, or just lend an ear for them to vent to. We’re all working on raising the future, shouldn’t we help each other out?