Today we told the world, or at least the Facebook world, all about our dear son’s struggles. The cystic PVL, the cerebral palsy, all of it. Of course, I still put my positive spin on it, but it’s out there. And now that it is, I feel free! Only a few of our close family and friends knew before this morning.
I thought this would feel like a weight had been lifted, but that is an understatement. It feels like we’ve been keeping this big secret for so long. For what reason? We’ve accepted it, we’ve even embraced it! I guess we’ve continued making excuses for so long to protect everyone else. Why?
Maybe we’ve been afraid of the sympathy – the looks, the not knowing what to say. We don’t want that. We just want everyone to continue treating M like they have been. He’s still the same little boy he was before everyone knew. Of course, we are getting lots of support and well wishes, but what I’m really looking forward to is fewer questions (hopefully).
The advantage of sharing this news with the Facebook world first is that I didn’t have to see people’s reactions as they received the news. Selfish? Maybe. I’m an easy crier and I hate it. If I can avoid having a teary conversation with someone, awesome.
Why today? I’m not totally sure about that either. M and I were having a great morning together while Daddy was out hunting. It just felt right. Most of the time I don’t think about his ‘disabilities’, I just see him for the amazing little child that he is. And that’s all I want – for everyone to just see him for that.
If you’re holding a secret for the protection of others, let it out. I bet you’ll feel better too!
Mama Woot 